Red flags in relationships are often missed because they seem subtle or not a big deal. The following red flags are very easy to miss and are not just in romantic relationships, but also with friends, colleagues, family members, and even neighbors.
Here are some red flags to be aware of in any relationship you have in your life.
The Love Bomb
The concept of “love bombing” has become a bit of a trending phrase, but it is anything but new. This is simply a way to describe someone who tends to lay their affection on thick and typically very soon in a relationship.
Someone who loves bombs puts a lot of pressure on you at the beginning of a relationship, doing whatever they can to manipulate you into feeling something they want you to feel. While not always with bad intentions, love bombing does feel like a method of manipulation, because they are trying to use being overly affectionate very quickly as a way to advance your feelings toward them.
Some things to look for including someone who comes on very strong, who doesn’t respect your boundaries, and who tells you they are in love within days or even hours of meeting you. It can seem romantic until you make it clear you want to take things slow, and they ignore your boundaries completely.
Only Communicating on Their Own Terms
Another red flag you might be missing is someone who is only willing to communicate on their own terms. This person could be a friend, partner, or really anyone in your life, but they set the rules for communicating. This includes how you communicate, when, and in what way. This is similar to a hot-and-cold person, where they seem very loving and passionate one minute, then are practically ghosting you the next.
They manipulate in a way where they set the rules in the relationship or friendship, and expect you to accept that. They have a hard time seeing your side of things and only set boundaries for themselves but don’t always respect your own boundaries.
Lack of Trust on Both Sides
This red flag isn’t just about the other person in the relationship, but you as well. If you feel like you can’t trust the person you are with, or they have trust issues with you, it could be a big problem. This isn’t to say that neither of you doesn’t have good reasons for having trust issues, but when it is a major development in your current relationship because of an issue with a past relationship, that is when it becomes a problem.
Consider your reasons for not trusting the other person. Have they given you a good reason or do you get this weird feeling they are hiding something from you? If it is more about them and less about you and your own history, there might be something behind that instinct. If the other person never trusts you and always wants you to check in and confirm you are doing what you said they are, that is a big red flag you shouldn’t ignore.
You Feel Like Your Needs and Feelings are Unimportant
Someone who isn’t there for you on an emotional level might not be the one for you. This red flag is much more subtle because they might be a very good partner or friend. But when you aren’t just having fun and hanging out, and have something emotional going on in your life, suddenly they don’t know how to comfort or support you, and often make you feel like you have no right experiencing those emotions.
They Are Rude to Other People
Sure, your partner might not be rude to you or anyone you know directly, but when they are rude to a stranger on the street, someone on the phone, or the waitress when you are eating at a restaurant, it is definitely a red flag.
You don’t want someone who doesn’t respect others, especially those in the service industry. Don’t ignore the signs when someone you are with is rude to a waiter, bartender, valet, cashier, and hotel receptionist.
Your Gut is Trying to Tell You Something
You should always listen to your gut, even when you don’t know where that feeling is coming from. Your intuition is likely a lot stronger than you realize, and your body might be sending signals that your mind can’t yet comprehend. If you just have this feeling that something is off about a person, it probably is.
While you don’t want to feel like you are just being paranoid, it is usually a good thing to listen to your own gut instincts. However, communication is best, so ask your partner if you feel like something is off and are just wondering what is going on.
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